Old Patterns

Dear Friend,

I see you. And I'm so proud of you. I know you're trying to break out of family patterns. For you. and for them. That's what got us here, in so many ways. No, I'm not blaming that. But it is honest. And if I-- let me use the correct pronoun-- if I want to change the way I act, I need to first change the way I think." It always kills me that award wining psychology is biblically founded and over 2000 years old. Of course, killing me is the point, in my relationship with Jesus, if I am going to be more like Him.

But old patterns are, well, old patterns. And they hit each of us. They are our default setting, our "we do and don't think about it" acting. Until we unpack the "whys" we are in effect, machines driven by other cogs. And I want more for you and me. And I am so glad you want more for you. Because changing the way we think is the difficult now. Changing the way we behave is tough, as well. And changing the way that others think and behave remains almost impossible.

You'll find This affects both old and new relationships. With preexisting you change, others may be much slower to change. Past judgments may remain. Skepticism has, perhaps dug a well worn trench between you. In new relationships, the landscape seems the same, but values and realities are often quite different. Words and silences have different meanings with this new partner. One of the best ways to break into a new pattern is learning a new language for another.

When the struggle is heavy or light, I'm here, friend. I know it's not easy. The patterns that blanket us are heavy and familiar. I've often wondered why so many people it seems wear a back pack full of rocks, rather than taking the time to set it down and empty it out. Except that familiar habits are familiar habits. I am proud of you for taking hold of yours, at least in beginning to grasp the familiar.

thus spake,

me