Wherever you go, there you are. Sorry, but it's true.

Dear child,

I love you. I know a lot of changes are in store. And I hope that the changes are of a benefit to you and not a harm. My prayer is that a new season, a new surrounding, and an new situation will all bring you new life. I know you're full of hope right now. And the last thing I want to do is to dampen that newfound faith.

Just be wise. Protect your heart. Here's going to be the biggest struggle. In the immortal words of the poet-philosopher Yogi Berra (not to be confused here with Yogi Bear, who was also amazing, but in a totally different way),

"Wherever you go, there you are."

Please. Let that sink in a moment. Because nothing is going to change if you don't change. I know. Bad situation. Bad relationship. Bad job. Bad roommate. Bad deal. But there is something that all those situations have in common, my friend. Dare I point out the obvious. OK. I feel like no one else is going to mention it. All those things have one thing in common. You.

Please understand, I'm not assigning blame. That seems like the most fruitless task one could employ. I'm not screaming "It's your fault." Because I don't know about that. But here's what I do know. Wherever you go, you take you with you. And all the scars, and the pains, and the failures, and the frustrations are uniquely yours. Can I ask? Is it time to get a neutral third party involved? Here read that "counseling". Not because I believe you are broken. Not because I think you need to be fixed. But because we, as people, live based on patterns of the past. And if we can't sit down, and plow through those patterns, and understand why we do what we do, we're never going to change. and make new patterns in a real way. That's why, dear one, most people fall into the trap of being more like those who raised them then they are different. It's because we've never learned to ask why.

Simple question. would you want your parent to pick out your spouse? Only one child in all that I've asked this question would have answered in the affirmative, and she's since moved on. Of course not. Because an arranged marriage seems like nonsense to you. But what about an arranged faith. Or an arranged personality? Or arranged predilections? But isn't that what you're falling into, simply by not asking "Why?" "Why did I make this choice?" "Why did i choose this one as my person?" "Why did I allow myself no boundaries in this situation?"

Be better than me. Find out where you are, early on in the wandering. It will save you, and those you love, a whole lot of hurt, and a whole lot of time. Invest in involving others in the raising of you. The job is not done, and if you do it right, never will be. I love you enough to tell you that. I hope others do, as well.

thus spake,

me