Getting Stoned

Dear Friend,

I'm sorry.

I'm not sure why people who call themselves Christian are so quick to want to heap heavy accusations and insults and curses and judgments at other people, especially other people that they consider Christians, and therefore members of their very own family. On behalf of humble Christ followers everywhere, and those who bear His name in vain, please, if you can, some how, some day, in some way, forgive us.

"Throwing stones" leads us to believe that we're simply chucking pebbles at the party that offers us an offense. Those pebbles will cause a slight sting that will somehow get their momentary attention, cause a change in course, and the other will be better for it in the long run. As with so many things, that is not what stoning someone entailed at all. If someone was going to be stoned, they were shoved onto a pile of rocks from a hill twice their height. If that didn't kill them, the people involved turned the body over so that the offending party was face up, and threw heavy rocks onto the person's chest, so that the life was slowly crushed out of them. (The alternate form of stoning did involve throwing stones, when a cliff was not available, involved throwing stones the size of a tangerine or larger, at the offending party, who had been buried up to their breast bone, allowing them to be hit until dead.

I'm sorry, sweetheart, if that's too graphic. Not too graphic in that it is too historical, but too graphic in that it is too close to your history. I think you know what that feels like. You've had a lot of well meaning folks think they were doing their religious duty by lobbing rocks at you. Messed up? Yes. Sick? Without a doubt. Wrong. Definitely. But it has happened still the same. And as much as I would want to, I cannot protect you from the rain of rocks, anymore than you can. I would take your place in an instant, but they will still seek you out, and even if you climb out of the pit, the bruises will still remain.

What then? What now? Run? Hide? Scream? Hit back? Lash out? Let me clearly say this-- I'm fairly convinced that there is not a single choice you could make that is not faithful. Surprised? Go read the Psalms. Specifically Psalm 137. There's something in there about dashing the heads of the children of our enemies upon the rocks." (Strangely, as many times as I've heard the Psalms ready in churches over the years, that one seems to get left out). But you are entitled to all the feels, my friend. Fear. Frustration. Sorrow. Pain. Hurt. Loss, and Anger among them. But all those feelings can cement into bitterness. And that is not, if I read you correctly, who you want to become.

Can I suggest something? At least something to consider? What would it look like if you turned the feels into worship? Simply in this way... "Hey Jesus, "I'm really hurt right now. And if I'm honest, I'm really pissed at _______________". And if I'm really more honest, I'm not sure I want to give that up. You're going to have to change that for me. Help me to stay close to you." I borrowed that simple prayer-- "I can't, You can, Help me to stay close," from Andy Stanley back in the day, when my daughter was struggling with a mean girl. Because the Mean Girls weren't going to go away. Plastics become Silicones, and Silicones become Botox-es. But that simple prayer has been even more important for me as a Christ follower. because it always brings me back to worship. When I'm surrounded by the feels, I can get lost in them. But when I pray that simple prayer, it shifts my focus just enough, it reminds me that Jesus, and not the feels, is what deserves my primary attention in this moment. And then I can move on. Because in that moment they might not be immediately changed, but I am different, because i am brought once again into the presence of my God.

And there is something beautiful about that. Because it is the begining of worship.

thus spake

me