I'm in your corner.

Young one,

I am so incredibly proud of you. Know that.

If you succeed gloriously. I will be glad to be in your corner, cheering you on.

If you fail gloriously, I will be glad to be in your corner, tending your wounds.

If you major in mediocrity? Still in your corner.

If you really mess up? In your corner.

If you get caught? In your corner.

I love you. With both my kidneys. Or anything else I have.

I never wanted to be Rocky. Or Clubber Lang. Or any of the rest of them. I always wanted to be the Best Corner Man in the country. Just know that, going in. It won't just be me helping you. It will be you helping me.

Oh, and if that guy looks familiar, know that that guy was also the original Penguin, who looked fabulous in a suit. So both of us have tremendous range-- he in acting-- I in acting in your best interests.

thus spake,

me