Is that a moose?

Friend,

You know I struggle with a lot of things, three of which are vision, finances, and follow-though. What does that have to do with a Moose in Maine? I'll explain.

I wish I could say it had only happened once. But several times now, I've found myself without my glasses on one of our family forays. Which is problematic in and of itself, since I can't really read road signs without my glasses. But what's worse, it messes with my head and my heart. Because whenever I'm headed into Nature, here read NOT Iowa or Nebraska, I'm looking for native animals in the wild. Specifically I'm on a quest for moose or elk or bears. You know, spectacular animals. When I saw this sign, I drove back and forth on this particular stretch of road like it was my job. Sorry to tell you not one single moose. I think Sign Guy might be engaging in hyperbole.

What happens, when I'm without my glasses, is that my head and my heart conspire with my poor vision to make me think I'm seeing wildlife everywhere. Look. Over there. There's a bear. "No, dad. That's a rock." Look! There are so many moose (moosi? mooses?) "No, honey, just a bunch of rocks. Why is the family Spake so incredibly patient with Squinty McSquinter? Because one vacation I took picture after picture after picture of majestic rocks in their native habitat. And THEY LET ME! And now, still, they feel kind of bad about it. Some times. When they're not making fun of me.

Why do I mention this, friend? I think there are some things you're not seeing correctly. Don't worry. I'm not going to break in and steal your joy. I'll let you finish the trip. And I won't make fun of you. But there are some places where your vision is out of focus. When you get your pictures developed, let's talk.

thus spake,

me.