Rescue all, save some

My beautiful child,

I know two things about you. First, I know that you're built to love people. Second, I know that the people you love often exhaust you, overwhelm you, and plain wear you out. You're struggling to find balance in a world where the people you love bring their own chaos to your door. And sometimes, you're tempted to shut the door for long periods of time. Other times, you recognize isolation is the problem, so you throw yourself headlong into relationships. Balance seems like an illusion, so you are stuck, between periods of frenetic activity and periods of isolated exhaustion. Is there a different way? Maybe. Keep in mind I'm not telling you what to do. I'm just sharing something I've found to be helpful to me.

Often, I've found some of the deepest truths where I didn't expect them. I was sharing the day with two of your kind with whom I'm crazy in love. I had high expectations for the day as we kayaked the sea caves on the North Shore of the state of Wisconsin. Of course we hired a guide. And I was surprised to see a young woman show up at the scene.

Our guide told us she said she was 25. I really had her figured at 16 or 17. But as we continued in our day, i discovered that she was so much older than her years. As we progressed, I started asking questions: "So how long have you been doing this?" is always my first salvo. And so I fired.

What I got back in return was something for which I was totally unprepared. "This is my second summer. But you're in good hands, don't worry. This is just a part time job that I do in my off time. Most of the time, I'm a rescue swimmer for the U.S. Coast Guard." Okay, what to say next.

"Wow, that's got to be a challenging job."

She paused, almost hesitant to say more, "Yeah, it can be." And then for awhile there was only the sound of our paddles breaking the water. I was surprised when she continued, "Last weekend, I jumped into the water for a family who's boat had overturned. I was able to rescue the mother and kids, but the father died."

"Can I ask, how does someone so young deal with that? Because I'm not sure I could."

"Well, I tell myself every time I hit the water, 'Rescue all, save some.' When I splash down, my intent is to rescue everyone, but I know at the end of the day, I'm only going to save some, and if I don't protect myself, at the end of the day I'm not going to be there for the next mission."

I wonder if that isn't the very best way we can live our our missions. Rescue all. Save some, and if I don't save myself, they all drown. Intent on bringing Grace and Love and Peace to everyone that we come across. At the same time, there's a recognition that we can only do so much, and we can't safely reach all of the people in our lives. It's coming face to face with the height of our calling and the short comings of self. And living in the tension, knowing that is somehow completely the way it's supposed to be for anyone in the business of positively impacting the lives of others. And recognizing that self care isn't selfish, but that self care is the very preservation of God that is interwoven in Sabbath and the Commandments and the Compassion of the Christ.

By the way, did you know that rescue swimmers consume a crazy amount of calories? Turns out being in the water, especially cold water, burns an abnormally high amount. Rescue swimmers, it turns out, have to be fed constantly. Can I ask? Could that be part of the reason you're so tired? Are you, dear one, being fed. Are you surrounded by people who are pouring life and grace and peace into you? You can't burn energy that hasn't already been stored up. Just wondering. Are you carving out time for rest and recovery, not just spiritually, but emotionally and physically and psychologically, because all those things are different muscle groups on different recovery schedules? Not asking to put one more thing on your to do list? But asking because I love you.

just spake

me