The Brutality of Grace

Dear Friend,

I know you are tired. I can see it on you and in you and around you. And I've heard you. And I'm sorry. It's not just a season. Because you are you, and in the timeless words of the great poet-philosopher Yogi Berra, "Wherever you go, there you are." You take you, with you. So buckle up. You are always going to be in a busy season. The scenery will change, but if you're going to survive, you may want to lie down, sooner rather than later.

We will all lay down, eventually. I just did a funeral that reminded me of that today. It does not matter who we are or where we come from. Sooner or later, every one gives in to gravity-- Spake's Law # 19. Strange how it is the thing that every parent prays for when their children are little and it is their greatest fear on prom night. It is what we know for every tire child we see in some one else's family in the candy aisle. It is almost what we never remember for the man or the woman in the mirror as we begin our days.

The text at the funeral this morning? Psalm 23. So familiar, and yet so unfamiliar.

The Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not be in want. He makes me lie down in green pastures.

Wait. Stop there. Really. How are you doing with the not in want thing. Really. At your most honest? But enough about that for now. That is probably a whole different series of conversations that we are not ready to have. And maybe those conversations hinge, like so much hinge, on the simple sentence that follows: He makes me lie down in green pasture.

Consider, for a moment, the picture that is being put forward: a lamb having it's nose driven into the turf. He. Makes. Me. Lie. Down. Oh, but why. It seems so counter-intuitive from the outside. Why, little lamb, can't you just see how lush and beautiful and nutritious the grass grows beneath your hooves? Why would you want to be anywhere else? If we were watching a movie of the lamb's life, we would surely scream "Stop!" as we would scream "Don't go in there!" in a horror movie." Don't you know? Have you any idea? Don't you see?

Lambs, it turns out, are rarely still. They are skittish. Anything and everything can be perceived as a predator. Lambs may run because of a simple noise. Sometimes lambs are driven out of fear. They may simply go along with the herd. Sometimes it is seeking shelter from a storm. Other times, they're looking for respite from the summer sun. Often they nibble from one piece of grass to another, following what looks good to them, only to find themselves a long way from the safety of the Shepherd. What lambs seldom do is lay down.

And so comes the brutality of Grace. Once upon a time, when I was young and broke (not to be confused with when I was old and broken, which is so much better) The Beloved and I lived with her Parents. Not for one summer, but for two. Because I, if anything, am incredibly slow to learn my lessons of what is and what is not best. Besides being Head Chicken Killer of the Rockwell City Poultry Plant, I often helped my Father in Law work his lambs. I still remember his fascination, when we went on vacation and visited a museum. We saw a picture painted, if memory serves, by one of the Dutch Masters. My Father in Law launched into a history lesson which I have never forgotten, but only very recently understood. It turns out that many pictures of Jesus with the lamb over his neck, which you have seen, are probably similar to that same picture. Said he "Whoever painted that picture knew something. When lambs in that day would keep wandering off, the shepherd would break its legs. Then the shepherd would splint the legs, and carry the lamb about his neck, much like a scary. During the time of healing, the lamb would imprint upon the shepherd. It would take on his voice, his smell, and the very pattern of his breathing. And when the lamb had healed, it would never leave the side of the shepherd again.

You will lie down, some day. But you are created to lie down, now. The kingdom isn't just a far off distant promise. The Kingdom has come, and it is here. The God of Grace and Glory is FOR you. Maybe you and I are reading a different book. You weren't started to start strong and then rest, silly rabbit. You were created to rest, and then walk. Born into Grace before all things. Starting with Sabbath and then the week begins. You will lie down one day. But you are created to lie down now.

If He needs to, your Shepherd will break your legs. Is that what it will take? I pray not, but I fear so. The brutality of Grace is beautiful, but is not pain free. I promise to limp along with you and hold your hoof. But wouldn't it be simpler just to lay down in the green grass all on your own and bend the knee of your own accord. No. I didn't either. OK. Well, just know, I'm still here in the herd. And you are loved.

thus spake,

me.