The Horcrux Analogy

Dear Friend

I've been thinking a lot about you. And a lot of my other friends. Because it seems like so many of you are struggling with the same thing.

I'm afraid that forgiveness is something we never taught you. And there's a reason that it's critical. Let's call it the Horcrux Analogy. I know you know the story. The idea of pieces of a person bound to moments in time, fragments of the past tied to real realities. What's more, these horcruxes (horcruxi?) are difficult to destroy. Linguists who study Harry Potter (I know. But there are. And they do) suggest that horcrux may etymologically mean "horrible cross", as in a "horrible cross to bear"

Maybe old J.K. Rowling knows something. What she doesn't know is that sometimes you can leave great sit, and simply say, "that was another time and place, and if I wrote now, I would write differently," rather than attempt to be on the right side of history by attempting to re-write her stories. But we can't all know everything.

What she does know, even if she doesn't know she knows it, is the horcrux analogy. Because that's the way you're living, my friend. To be specific, every single person you don't or can't or won't forgive carriers a part of you. In effect, because you hold on to the hurt or the hate or the horror, a part of you remains behind. They might not own you, but they certainly have a hold on you. And as long as they're holding a piece of your heart, the hurt won't heal.

So how does forgiveness happen? You can't smash the horcruxes with a hammer. Even Ron Weasley can comprehend that. There's no secret recipe. There's no magic path. But maybe I'd start with a simple prayer I borrowed it from Andy Stanley years ago, and have never returned it, but to be fair, he probably forgot where he put it and thinks it is still in his garage. It goes like this:

Dear Jesus,

I can't

You can.

Help me to stay close.

In practice it works like this.

Hey Jesus

I can't forgive Kevin. I can't change Kevin. I don't have the energy for Kevin. I'm not even sure Kevin and I can even have a conversation. I've tried.

You can. Do that for me. Please.

Help me to stay close to you.

Because what happens, friend, is that as we naturally hang out with people, we become more like them over time. It's the 21st century translation for "Remain in me, and I will remain in you." Stay close, and you'll be come more like me. And I can't think of a better reality for you while your horcruxes are getting handled. Because it may seven or possibly eight movies to get it done.

In the mean time, know that you're not alone. And not judged. Just loved.

thus spake,

me