The most difficult choice

Dear Friend,

I'm trying my best to love you. And probably not doing a very good job of it. It would be easy to chose not to love you. I've got enough on my plate. Does that sound selfish? Fair enough. We haven't exactly been besties. And I, for one, am OK with all that. Honestly is more important to me than the way things look. You might think differently. That's OK too.

Here's the problem, friend. People I seriously love, love you. And because I believe that my commitment to love them entails a commitment to love you, here we are. Over the years I've heard you speak about X and Y. And how you didn't ever want to become them. But again, here we are. You're right there. You're treating the people I love horribly. And I can see the train tracks lining up from a long ways away. They're going to end up resenting you. And bitterness is a bitter pill that doesn't digest easily.

I can explain all day why you are the way you are. How the process of nature and nurture and chemical creations and neural pathways got us to where we are. That spending a life time worrying about becoming "like someone else" is the surest recipe for that singular occurrence. But knowing more doesn't help them much. They simply know more. They no that they can't change you. They're terrified that they can't change themselves.

There will come a time when I say something. When standing up for them is more important then standing down for them. Is it today. No. But that day will come.

Until then, and at that moment, and in the moment that follows, I will chose to love you. But that moment is coming.

thus spake

me